Ivan Sammy Rujojo

  “See Something funny in whatever life throws at us along the way” Adapted from Richard Templar

As we struggle through this life we need to keep a sense of proportion about it. What we do and what we take seriously can often be so far removed from what it is actually all about that it is laughable. We get bogged down in trivia, lost in irrelevant detail to such an extent that our life can whizz past and we don’t even notice. By letting go of things that really aren’t important we can put ourselves back on track. And the best way to do this is through humour – laughing at ourselves, laughing at our situation, but never laughing at others, they are just as lost as us and don’t need to be laughed at. We get bogged down in things like worrying what the neighbours will think, concerns over stuff we don’t have, or things we haven’t done:’ Oh no, I haven’t washed the car for two weeks and it’s filthy and next door they did theirs yesterday so it looks like we are really slovenly’. If we ever think we’re getting like that then we do need to have a laugh about it. Life is for living, enjoying the sunshine, big things – not getting in a terrible state because you dropped some eggs on the supermarket floor.

Laughing at yourself and situations you find yourself in has double positive effects. Firstly, it diffuses tension and helps regain a sense of proportion and secondly, it has real physical as well as mental benefits. Laughter causes the release of endorphins, which make you feel better as well as giving you a better perspective on life.

This isn’t about telling jokes all the time, or cracking witty puns. It is more being able to see something funny in whatever life throws at us along the way – and there is always some humour in everything.

If you observe any aspect of human behaviour, you can see the ridiculous in all of it. Learn to find the funny side of everything. It’s the best technique for instant stress relief and dissolves anxiety and doubt. Go on try it!

If you want to be successful in your life, at work, socialising, you need to be aware that there are two groups of people to hang out with. First, there are those who lift you up, are positive about life, have energy and enthusiasm, walk their walk, talk their talk and generally make you feel great to be alive. And then there are the moaners, who bring you down to their level of inactivity. The second group are not the group to hang out with if you want to make things happen and be happy.

So hang out with the positive, smart people. I mean people who feel life is an exciting challenge worth wrestling to the ground and having fun with. the sort of people who have interesting points of view, who make you feel good talking to them, who have positive things to say or suggest rather than moaning. The sort of people who tell you that you look fantastic rather than criticise you. So Aileen Mazalla, Jacobeth Ngalani, Leonora Mendonca, Castro Hygino, Christine Nagawa and all those who make me smile I would like to say it’s a great pleasure to have you as my friends and i would do anything to hang out with you for you get the best out of me, I feel enthusiastic about seeing you; you make me laugh and smile and feel great about myself; you support, nurture and encourage me and most of all stimulate me with new ideas, new concepts and new directions.

Hang out with the first group. Cull the second group – unless they are just having a bad day as we all have those.  Move on, get it done. There is no point hanging out with people who don’t make you feel good – not unless you like being down. This group will usually make you feel depressed after you’ve seen them; make you feel angry, dejected or criticised; squash your ideas and pour cold water on your plans; don’t take you seriously and worst of all make you feel as if you cannot achieve anything without them.

Ah, but you’ll say it is cruel to prune friends ruthlessly like that. Well I suppose it is, but then  who would not want to enjoy their friends rather than moan about them?

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. even if you’re saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinx-like. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. the more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

Power is in many ways a game of appearances, and when you say less than necessary, you inevitably appear greater and more powerful than you are. Your silence will make other people uncomfortable. Humans are machines of interpretation and explanation; they have to know what you are thinking. When you carefully control what you reveal, they cannot pierce your intentions or your meaning.

Your short answers and silences will put them on the defensive, and they will jump in nervously fulfilling the silence with all kinds of comments that will reveal valuable information about them and their weaknesses. they will leave a meeting with you feeling as if they have been robbed, and they will go home and ponder your every word. this extra attention to your brief comments will only add to your power.

Oysters open completely when the moon is full; and when the crab sees one one it throws a piece of stone or seaweed into it and the oyster cannot close again so that it serves the crab for meat. Such is the fate of him who opens his mouth too much and thereby puts himself at the mercy of the listener. (Leonardo DA Vinci, 1452-1519).

Lesson to learn:

Once the words are out , you cannot take them back. Keep them under control. Be Particularly careful with sarcasm: The momentary satisfaction you gain with your biting words will be outweighed by the price you pay.

So you two met and fell in love and resolved to spend your lives together. And you are I hope. But at what level? I'm not being funny here but serious (for once). Just sort of living together, going through the days, not really connecting isn't good enough I'm afraid. You have to have a passion for your life together. A what?  a passion. Being together has to be a strong bond, a common sharing of experience, a dream-fulfilling romance that carries you both along. Love isn't for the half dead, the sound asleep ( or even the merely dozing off), the can't be bothered to make an effort anymore. You have to make the effort. You have to stay awake, in touch, in tune. You have to share dreams and goals and ambitions and plans. You have to have passion for being with each other.

Look, I know that all relationships go through peaks and troughs. I know we get complacent and even a little bored at times. but you are dedicating your life to someone else's happiness in a way, and that requires focus strength, passion, drive, enthusiasm and effort. What's that? You're not dedicating yourself to someone else's happiness? Then what are you doing? That's what a relationship is all about in a sense. And if you're not doing that, what do you think you are doing?

You have to really care, to still be in love, to want your partner to be fulfilled, successful, happy, complete.

In an ideal world you only get one crack of the whip at this ( I know that lots of people have several partners over a lifetime but I assume the aim is always to stay together for life and not to get divorced). This is your chance to have a really good strong relationship based on mutual trust, responsibility, shared happiness, drive and the pursuit of excellence. It isn't ? What is it then? It has to be if you're going to get the maximum out of it. Your partner isn't just there for someone to chat to when you get a bit fed up and want some company. they are there because they love and you them. They are there for you both to have a relationship. If that isn't as much as anyone needs as an incentive to live life to the full and have a passion, then I don't know what is.

An American, a Japanese, and a Tanzanian were sitting naked along the beach in Mombasa. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he said, " I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.

The Tanzanian felt low-tech and inferior. He didn't know what to do to be
as impressive as the American & the Japanese. He decided to take a break in
the restroom. When he returned, he didn't realize that there was a piece of
toilet paper which got stuck and was hanging from his backside.

The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?" Instead of
being embarrassed, inspiration struck his mind.
AND HERE IS WHAT HE SAID
"I'm getting a FAX"

Someone once said that half of the money he spent on advertising was wasted but he didn't know which half. His point was of course that if you can't tell which half, then you have to keep on doing the whole lot, fully aware that not all of it will produce rewards. Life is a bit like that. Sometimes it seems so unfair. You put in loads of efforts and get nothing back. you're polite to people and everyone seems rude back.You work up a sweat and others cruise it. Well, you have to keep on doing the 100% because you don't know which bits will pay off. Your efforts will be rewarded eventually but you'll probably never know which efforts are being rewarded - or for what - and which aren't.

We tend to think we are being lucky sometimes when actually we are just being rewarded for some bit of effort long ago that we have forgotten about. We have to keep going. You can't give up on the grounds that you've had a setback or two because you don't know which setbacks are the ones which count and which ones aren't. I suppose it's like the number of frogs you have to get acquainted with before you find your princess ( or prince). Or the pile of oysters you'd have to open to find a pearl.

But whatever you do, don't lose heart because things don't seem to be panning out. Only by keeping up the effort will reward come eventually - and you'll never know from which bits comes the best reward.

Most well balanced and happy people will also tell you that sometimes you have to work at something without looking for a pay-off - apart from the immediate pay-off that we are being kept busy and thus can't get into trouble. Always looking for success, rewards, a pay-off, can be detrimental to our wellbeing when things don't pan out. Sometimes it's ok to do things just for the sheer enjoyment of doing them.

I love painting miniature water colours - tiny, tiny landscapes. Once in a while someone will come along and suggest I put them into an exhibition  or sell them commercially. And everytime I  do  it fails miserably and give up for a while. Once the dust has settled I  always  go back to them and I have learnt it is a personal thing and no longer will I try to sell them or show them. they are not for profit part of my life and immensely rewarding. No, you can' see one.

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Now playing: Chris Brown Ft. T Pain - Kiss Kiss
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We often say we want many things while deep inside we doubt it will come to us. The universe doesn't give us what we want; it gives us what we expect to get. You cannot fool mother nature. She gives birth to your deepest thoughts and the principle is this: Everything happens twice - first on the inside, then on the outside. We must literally create the energy of what we want within ourselves before we can have it in a physical world.How does it feel to be wealthy? In love? In perfect health? Totally free to do anything we choose?

We must let the feeling well inside and live as though the very thing we want is the thing we have. We must feel ourselves being and enjoying the every best of life has to offer. We must think about it, talk about it and expect it every moment. We must impregnate our total being with the expectation of what we want. As the feeling grows, the day will come when we give birth to exactly what we want.

We have the ability, right and power to create whatever we want in our lives. All we have to do is see it. We can choose to see the unlimited possibilities, rich opportunities and uncharted waters. We can choose to see that doing what we want with ease, having what we want with joy and being where we want can be used for projection and perception.

When we use our eyes to project what we want into the world, we send forth the creative power of the soul's force. When we use positive perception to interpret what we see, we avoid falling prey to doom and gloom. If we can look beyond today, its challenge obstacles, we can create a better tomorrow. If we can see, it must come to be. That is the Law.

I expect all the best right here and now and I am willing to see my good.

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Now playing on Windows Media Player: Mya - life is too short
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Many of us live from day to day without a real sense of purpose. We know we want more out of life, but we can't seem to put a finger on exactly what it is. We believe our fate is due to lack of career, money or the freedom to do what we want. Actually, what we may be longing for is a personal mission. When you have a mission, you have a core passion that gives you vision. With the vision of your mission, you move gracefully through your goals.

When you have a mission, you wholeheartedly embrace a task and you remain focused until the task is done. When you have a mission, you feel valued, worthy and respectable. You manage to keep your head up and others notice you.

What is your mission? Is it teaching, healing, painting, driving? Perhaps it is building snowmen, counting pea pods or keeping others on their mission. Respect your life enough to pursue a meaningful mission. Respect yourself enough to give yourself something to do.

I am mission-minded and focused on a goal. Are you?

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  Many of us think we are lucky or blessed when we find just the right person to love. By now we know that nothing in life is an accident, including our selection of mate.

The people who come into our lives are a reflection of who we are. They reveal to us those things we cannot or refuse to see about ourselves. The very thing we don't like about our mate is the thing we need to change. The thing we love about the other person is a hidden, undeveloped or unrecognized asset that we have. We can only draw to us those people who are on our level of energy and development. They reflect back to us the every things we do. Most of us reject this idea. But Then most of us reject criticism, too.

We find it difficult to accept those things about us that others see. We do,  however, feel completely justified when we criticize our mates. Here's a question for you: How would you know what to call what you see in your mates unless you had seen it somewhere else?

I'm looking in the mirror of self and making adjustments in me!

Life  is difficult. If it was all fluffy and easy we wouldn't be tested, tried, forged in the fire of life. We wouldn't grow or learn or change, or have a chance to rise above ourselves. If life were a series of lovely days, we'd soon get bored. If there was no rain, then there wouldn't be any feeling of great joy when it finally stopped and we couldn't go to the beach. If it was all easy we couldn't get stronger.

So be thankful  it is a struggle some of the time, and recognize that only dead fish swim with the stream. For the rest of us there will be times when it's an uphill, upstream struggle. We will have to battle waterfalls, weirs and raging torrents. But we have no choice. We have to keep swimming or get swept away. And each flick of our tail, each surge of our fins makes us stronger and fitter, leaner and happier.

There is a statistic that suggests that for a lot of men ( I don't know whether this applies to women as well!), retirement is a really bad idea. Lots of them die within a relatively short time of handing in their briefcase. They have ceased to swim against the current  and get swept away. Keep swimming, little fish, keep swimming.

Try to see each setback as a chance to improve. They make you stronger, not weaker. You only get burdened with as much as you can carry - although I do appreciate that at times may seem as if it's a whole lot more. And of course the struggles don't come to an end, but there are lulls in- between times - backwaters where we can rest for a while and enjoy the moment before the next obstacle gets thrown our way.

And that's what life is, what it is meant to be; a series of struggles and lulls. And whatever situation you're in now, it's going to change. So what are you in ? Lull or struggle? Rain or going to the beach? Learning or enjoying? Dead fish or healthy salmon?

Imagine what a harmonious world it could be if every single person, both young and old, shared a little of what he is good at doing.

We all come into this life with talents, gifts or abilities which, if we put them to use, they would be profitable to us and useful to the world. Yet, we allow ourselves to be told and we tell ourselves that we’re not good enough or that no one is interested in what we can do. Many of us spend the greater portion of our lives seeking authorization or recognition, never developing or using the goodness of the things we do naturally. If we would trust life and ourselves a little more, we would do what comes naturally, what we are good at, giving it all that we’ve got. If we would stop looking for fame and fortune we might find we are sitting on a goldmine of ideas and abilities. If we would stop blaming others and being ashamed of ourselves, there would be no way we could expect or accept anything less than the best from ourselves and for ourselves. If we could stop chasing castles in the sky and do what we can do, where we are, the world would probably appreciate it and reward us greatly.

I am willing to give to the world who I am naturally. How about you?

Boy is this a simple one to say and a really difficult one to live up to? I do appreciate that it's a tough one, but I know you can do it. It takes a simple shift of vision, from being the sort of person who acts in a certain way to being a different sort of person who acts in a different sort of way. Look no matter how rough it gets you are never going to take revenge, act badly, be very very angry, hurt anyone, act without thinking, act rashly or be aggressive.

That's it, the bottom line. You're going to maintain the moral high ground at all times. You're going to behave honestly, decently, kindly, forgivingly, nicely (whatever that means) no matter what the provocation, no matter what the challenge thrown at you. No matter how unfairly they behave, how badly they behave, you'll not retaliate in like kind. You'll carry on being good and civilized and morally irreproachable. Your manners will be impeccable, your language moderated and dignified. There is nothing you can do or say that'll make you deviate from this line.

Yes, I know it's difficult at times. I know when the rest of the world are behaving appallingly, and you have to carry on taking it on the chin without giving in to your desire to floor them with a savage word, it's really really tough. When people are being horrid to you it's natural to want to get your own back and lash out. Don't. Once the rough time has passed. you'll be so proud of yourself for keeping the moral high ground, that it will taste a thousand times better than revenge ever would.

I know revenge is tempting, but you won't go there. Not now, not ever. Why? Because if you'll be sinking to their level, you'll be at one with beasts instead of the angels, because it demeans you and cheapens you, because you'll regret it  and lastly because if you do, then you're no 'Rules player'. Revenge is for losers. Taking and keeping the moral high ground is the only way to be. It doesn't mean that you're a pushover or a wimp. It just means that any action you do take will be honest , dignified and clean.

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Now playing: Are We Done Yet
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You can't solve the problem because you don't know what it is. - A Course in Miracles

Does it ever seem that as soon as you solve one crisis, another pops up? What about the way you think about the challenges of life? Do you think it's money, or the lack of it? When you get the money together, the kids or maybe the spouse act up. As soon as they calm down, it's the job or the car or the pipes in the basement.

You can spend the better part of your life putting out little bushfires with your kettle without ever realising there is a forest fire burning in your life.

By now you should have realized you cannot solve the problems in your life. No matter how hard you try, you cannot do it. Want to know why? It is because you think that you are in control when you really aren't. There is a divine source, a powerful force, a perfect order that controls everything. When you recognize it , acknowledge it and surrender to it, you won't have to struggle to solve problems. There won't be any.

The universe will perfect that which concerns me when I surrender control.

Blimey, if you thought the previous post was tough, try this one...But the future is where it's all going to happen, I hear you cry. The future is where I'm going to be successful, happy, rich, beautiful, famous, in love, surrounded by friends, surrounded by the finest wine money can buy. Yep, those might be the plans or dreams or whatever. But again, this is here and now is where it is  actually at. This is the moment you've been waiting for all your life. This is the moment you must appreciate without all those other things you long for.  Look, longing really is the sweetest thing. Having those dreams is really brilliant. Don't let anyone ever tell you dreaming is a bad thing. But appreciate that this is the you right now that is doing the dreaming. Enjoy the wishing and the longing. Enjoy being alive and having the strength and vitality to do all that dreaming.

Living in the moment doesn't mean throwing away all your responsibilities and cares; it doesn't mean taking off and being a total pleasure seeker; it doesn't mean sitting cross-legged and breathing deeply - although all and any of these things is fine if you want. It just means taking a moment or two every now and then to appreciate being alive and to aim to act like today matters and live life to the full, right here, right now.

Forget bigger and better and richer and thinner. The key is to appreciate what we've got right now and yet still dream and plan. That way we'll be a little happier now than if we're constantly looking to the future where happiness apparently lies.

And don't go thinking it's all right for me. It's not. I too need to certainly get fitter, earn more quid, get more stuff (and we all love stuff). But I also value the way that I am and appreciate what I've got now because  - and this is the secret - it's real. The me now is the real me, the future one isn't yet born and may not happen. And the stuff I have now is at least real, tangible, solid.

Dreams are great but reality is fine too!

Whatever the past was, it's gone. There is nothing you can do to change anything that has gone before  and so you must turn your attention to the here and now. It is hard to resist the allure of dwelling on what has gone before. But if you want to be successful in your life, you have to turn your attention to what is happening for you right now. You might be tempted to dwell on the past because it was awful or because it was wonderful. Either way, you have to leave it behind because the only way to live is in the present.

Everyday we wake up is a fresh start and we can make of it what we want, write what we want on that blank canvas. Keeping that enthusiasm going can be tough - a bit like trying to exercise. The first few times are impossibly hard but if you persevere, then one day you find that you are jogging, walking, swimming without conscious effort. But getting going is really tough and requires immense powers of concentration, enthusiasm, dedication and perseverance to keep at it.

Try to see the past as a room separate from the one you leave in now. You can go in there but you don't live there anymore. You can go visit but it isn't home anymore. Home is here now. Each second of this present is precious. Don't waste any drops of precious time by spending too much time in 'that old room'. Don't miss what is happening now because you were busy looking back, or later you'll be busy looking back at this time and wondering why you wasted it.

Live here, live now, live this moment.  Don't dwell on the past as it's gone!